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Growing as a presenter….

June 3, 2010

This was my first Shibaricon. Being offered a chance to present at such an event was such an honor as I looked at the list of presenters.  These are people I look up to and some I am proud to call tribe and peers. I taught my class Inner Journey of Rope. This is a class that goes into the more emotional and mental aspects of what we do as rope bottoms. This class has been a journey in itself. A subject that I decided to work on last August do to being brought back into wraps of rope and suspension. Every rope experience wa different and started pulling up old memories. Some good, some bad and it got me thinking more about the inner aspects of rope work. Also the book Rope, Power and Bondage also got me thinking more and more about what was going on inside of me with rope and not just the stretching and flexibility aspect.

The class was becoming very cohesive and became even more after attending a dance class called “Dancing your Demons” which focused on dealing with the internal as emotional fodder for dance. The teacher focused on the teachings of Jung and is concepts of the shadow which I felt spoke very much to the kink side of things.

My class was on Saturday and against Midori and Scott Smith. I was happy with having around 12-14 people in my class. I was actually more afraid of having a larger class because anything over 20 people I think would have been more difficult.  It was the second exercise where I seemed to hit something important with people. I normally do not take pride in making people cry in my classes, but this one I feel was important on many levels! The fact that they felt safe enough in my class to let go meant alot to me because alot of the classes I teach are not easy. They are mentally and emotionally exhausting. This is mostly due to the fact that the classes are coming from a bottoming perspective. My classes are not how-to classes. I’m not teaching how to tie a suspension or throw a whip. I am teaching about how to sort out the emotional and mental aspects of things. This is not easy stuff and is usually overlooked in most event presentation tracks so I was very happy to not only teach my class but attend other classes based on it.

Also during the weekend I went to lunch with a large number of the educators of the event to discuss better educating tools. The conversation was all over the place and at one point split into 3 different conversations.  Also after the event a few of us started talking about teaching at events and conventions and what we would want as educators as a way to be compensated for events more. I wish we had more time to talk and it made me wish that ALPSEC was an option for me in November because I think I would benefit alot from attending, but as always money is an issue.

I think what I learned about myself as an educator this weekend is that I am becoming more and more comfortable with seeing this as my calling.  That teaching lined up with my writing and bootblacking I have been making this my year of development. Speaking from the heart and not being afraid to share what I know and feel with others.  I felt really proud about what I accomplished over the weekend and I am already itching to teach again soon.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Bella's Tiger permalink
    June 4, 2010 12:17 am

    Thank you for such an emotional and enlightening class. Yes I cried and thank you for it. I learnt more about myself in 5 mins than I have in years.

    Keep growing as a teacher, you are truly special!

    Tiger

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