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Going Round and Round…..

May 4, 2010

It’s the time of year. It happens as soon as May hits. The Summer months are laid in front of me and I start spinning trying to figure out what I am going to do.  Everybody is doing something this time of year. As if the desire to play, learn and create only happens between Memorial Day and Labor Day.

So then the question becomes where do I focus? Which do I want to become important for me?  While reorganizing my dance studio space in my house I looked at the piles I had in it. A pile of dance costume pieces, a pile that had my corset and fishnets and such, and a pile with some bootblacking stuff mixed in with boots. I looked at it and sighed because this really just symbolized my life. Dance, Bootblacking, Kink, all in one space. Just like my head. Some days I feel like I have too many “hobbies” in my life, but then I realize that all of them make my life richer and fuller.  The problem is that my brain keeps going like a manic hamster on crack with ideas of what I can do in all those areas.

I have 2 dance events I want to do.

I have 4 Kink events I want to attend.

2 new classes to develop and teach for kink community.

A dance piece to perfect and a new one I want to get out there.

Develop a monthly tribal dance show in Charlottesville

Develop my Bootblacking Project/Organization

Work on Artist Way

And of course my brain wants me to do all of this NOW. Just like everyone else the need to create, learn and play hits me. So the question becomes where to focus. Where to prioritize. Do I make the list and just cross things out as I go?  Can I stick to a summer list? Can I afford the stuff on my summer list?  Can I remember to do things for me and not just out of guilt, being someones pawn or peer pressure? Can I learn to not get upset if lack of finances stop me from doing something?

Growth is a coming.  I just need to not be so afraid of it all.

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