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Crossroads

March 3, 2010

This year I have been facing alot of my own inner fears and demons. Really working hard to find my place in my own universe. The gremlins and demons in my head finally went too far. They had taken control of my life. Whispering lies and falsehoods into my ear and making my life a broken shambles. Affecting me and everyone I love.  I am finally able to start finding peace after almost 11 years of inner battles. Huge steps in directions I never expected but so far the changes have been very positive.  I’m making ground and it seems that after all my silent prayers of wanting to move forward in having a life where I can just be myself the universe seems to be listening and at a frightening rate altering my environment to make it all possible.

The latest in the changes is that I have been let go from my job this week.  My own boss didn’t even know about it and no reason was given other than “it’s not working.” What is amazing is how unbelievably calm I am about it all. I didn’t cry. I actually felt as if there was a release when the CEO told me. The last couple of months have been a difficult one and once I made the decision to start working on me, the contest and my creative endeavors The universe decided to say, “no more excuses, I’m giving you the clean slate. Do something with it.”

I had a long conversation with a friend about just this sort of thing last weekend at Winter Fire. About how waiting for someone else to do something for you is just not going to cut it. If I want to see a book about a particular topic then do it! A class, a dance, a way of viewing things. Start the path and don’t look back. Her “babble-fu” is strong. So strong the universe bended.

So now I look at the road ahead and I see a crossroads of sorts.  I can play it safe. Get the 9-5 job, benefits, and play nice, or I can really try to have the life I want. No it won’t be easy, and it would be a challenge but I will have the ability to do what I want which is be me. No more hiding. Dance, write, teach, start my business and travel.   I am at a point with things that I can leap. Really reach for what I want out of life and for once I feel like I can actually do it.

The universe bended for me. Who am I to say no.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. March 3, 2010 4:39 pm

    Wow… I really grok this and would love to chat with you about it. One of the problems I find I have, as I am now unemployed, is time management. Specifically, writing that book I want to see, and starting up that unsafe non stable income business. How do you think you will manage staying on task when it is only you as your timekeeper?

    • Miss Luna permalink*
      March 3, 2010 6:15 pm

      I think for me what it comes down to is sticking to a schedule. As in I still get up around 8:30-9:00. Other than club nights I amstill in bed at a decent hour. I have a set place to do my work out of the house and I am in the process of building that space in my house. I’m a list kind of person. The job I want to do is organization at it’s core so I am simply being me. So I guess for me it’s about schedules and lists and killing the distractions off one by one. So far so good.

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