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Scene Report: And I Was Afraid to Fly

September 9, 2009

So over the last couple of months I have been putting out alot of questions to Bondage/Rigger  forums about suspensions and size. I know I’m no light weight and the last couple of attempts at full suspension over the years had ended badly.  I have been unable to find the full reasons for this.  It’s been a fight for the last 4 years and so I have instead stuck to partial suspensions or floor work instead of the full time fly.

At SPANK on Saturday I was wandering the dungeon space sort of floating between the classes to see what was being taught. I caught the tail end of a bondage class which always catches my interest.  Rope was and still is my first passion. I just haven’t had a partner in years who was either willing to deal with rope or knots or had the skill or desire to learn.  While watching the teacher stated that he needed a volunteer that was really sensitive to rope. I raised my hand immediately because hey that’s what I do.  We introduced ourselves and we both started laughing. It was LqqkOut. Someone I emailed about a week before to be added to his Twitter and such.  So we knew of each other just not what the other looked like.  Class resumed and the energy that I felt the instant he put his arm around me was very positive. Almost addictive for an empath like myself.  When class was done I was buzzed and warm to the touch. Yeah, I needed to try more of this, but my chances? I never really see myself as someone that a rigger would be interested in tying up. I’m not a size 8, I have a couple of body limitations or so I thought.  I finally did something I never do which is ask if he would be interested in playing. I hate doing this and it always makes me nervous.  I feel like some high school kid asking someone to the prom. I’m either going to get laughed at or they already have a date.  He has 3 other scenes planned but he would like to work something in. Left it to chance which was fine because I didn’t think I had much of one.  The night went on and the energy of the night kept being amazing. Good people, many laughs and much to my surprise I got my chance to actually play.

I had no idea what to expect. The energy was electric. The kind of energy where it immediately becomes primal. The kind where one can’t seem to get enough of the other person involved.  Before the first coil of rope was even added my head was swimming.  The part I’m still trying to figure out is how I went from standing with my arms pinned behind me to having my legs taken out from under me and on the ground without feeling like I landed like a ton of bricks.

The first strands of rope went around my neck and my wrists. Now I know that certain rope peeps would be against such things but I was on the floor having my breath played with. I was deliberately leaning into the rope so I could feel the tension. The energy continued to build as rope was added to my body; hips, thighs, and breasts. I knew what was coming when lines were placed around my ankles I was going to fly but I had no idea how. I started going up. One leg left to balance on and the panic hit me. I didn’t want to fall. I didn’t want to fail. I didn’t want it to end. Not this one. Not with this person. I was up and after a couple of adjustments in midair I was there.  Facing down, legs behind and bent, hands forward.  I felt him with me always.  I felt like I was an extension of him. Which was heightened when he climbed into the suspension with me and spun around with me. He whispered,” And you were afraid to fly.” I chuckled. I had to because he was right. I was afraid and here I was flying and connected. My focus was inward and out.  So much happened during it all; bootlicking, my body toyed with, my brain ready to explode with all the sensations. I felt like I was up there forever until my knee started to give me issues.  When I was taken down the lines stayed on my body and play was continued on the floor. The connection building and building til my writhing body could not contain it anymore.

When it was all done I was as limp as a noodle and exhausted till he whispered in my ear, ” I guess now I can add you to my Twitter account.” I couldn’t stop laughing and asked “Jesus what do I have to do to follow you on FetLife!”  The ropes came off slowly and lovingly which just added to everything.  When it was all done I was tired but still hungry. I didn’t want to sever the connection but would have to.  Trying not to let it bother me that he was off to another scene.  I found comfort and camaraderie with my sadistic friends who used me as a practice dummy but still I was craving the energy. Now it’s like a drug.

First hit is free….so now what to do.


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