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Fascination with Rope

September 3, 2009
tags:
Marked Contemplation

Marked Contemplation

My fascination and love of rope started at a very early age. I was about 8 years old when I started tying myself down to my bed. I used scarfs and rope back then.  I never knew why I had the love of it.  It was just always there. Whenever and where ever I could get away with it I would. Including taking the sash from my bathing suit and tying myself up in a ball and letting myself bob in the water face down till I couldn’t hold my breath anymore.  Ah the days when parents left there kids at the pool alone.  Also my barbie Dolls shared in my love of it where I would tie them up and suspend them off the ground. It just seemed like the thing to do.

This love of rope moved into when I played with kids too. I always played Daisy Duke so that Bo and Luke Duke would have to rescue me from somewhere. Always wanted to be the first caught when playing War with the boys because then I was tied up and interrogated.  I liked having my arms pinned while making out with my high school boyfriend.  In College I experienced my first real SM experience when my boyfriend tied up my hands to have sex. It shredded my wrists because the boy didn’t know what he was doing. This was all part of growing up.

As I got older I started seeking out images. Found bondage models like Kumimonster and the works of Midori. When I found myself back in the scene when I was 25 I was blessed to find someone who really gave me my first real submersion into rope.  My birthday fell on a club night and a friend offered to tie me up with this other hot girl. I said yes how could I say no to being tied up with a redhead?  He blindfolded us and the rope he tried to use was thin and it became obvious he didn’t know what he was doing. Next thing I hear and feel is someone else working on the lines binding our arms together. Thicker rope, knowledge, energy I could see the work under the bottom edge of my blindfold and I was impressed. When it was done he kissed my shoulder and was gone. I knew who it was and  I was amazed at the skill.

Within a month that person became my life as my Master.  I became his bondage doll and experienced so many things with him. It also opened up alot of doors for me as far as what I could endure in bondage not just with him but with other bondage artists from the Boston area.  I always raised my hand for demo bottoming for classes. My inner journeys were free of pain or negativity. I always found peace. It wasn’t until the relationship shattered did my play with rope find problems.  I haven’t had a rope partner since him and because of that emotionally rope still has been linked to him.  Past partners have been more about metal bondage or Velcro or leather. I still enjoyed it but the deep connection was not the same.  Metal and leather for me felt more like a means to an end.  Rope always had a deeper meaning for me.  For others I played with rope was just a bother or “too complicated” to learn.  I still after all these years have been known know to still tie myself up when I am alone just so I can feel that energy.American Apparel Scarfs are a beautiful thing. Something I picked up from Lee Harrington years ago.

Attempting suspension over the last couple of years had been met with problems and it wasn’t until this past week did I realize that it was because the rope was still “his”. The positions were ones I had been in before with him and my heart would break. Hence why partial suspensions never triggered it. Amazing what a couple of weekends in a row in rope can do for you.  You learn alot about yourself and what you are capable of.

I was pushed last weekend with two experiences and eventhough both elicited a different response out of me both were just what I needed. What it has me thinking now is that I need to go back to my first love again. I am ready to. Healed in a way.  This makes me very happy.

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